Octillery

[Black Temple Gaurdian]

Post ideas for Octillery here.

[locoroco1]

Octillery have the ability to fire many different projectiles from their mouths. Recent studies by scientists have shown that their bodies contain all the elements, which they fuse to fire said projectiles.

Studies have shown that Octillery have chemical fusing chambers inside their bodies. They create everything from rocks and seeds to fire inside these chambers, which they fire from their mouths.

[Blade Flight]

A little redundant on the last half of the last sentence, but I like your second one quite a bit, loco. Using the word "fire" twice isn't that good, but I LOVE the concept; I never would have thought of it.

[ImmunityBow]

Make sure to capitalize the Pokemon's name, and use singular whenever possible.

OCTILLERY possesses several internal chemical fusion chambers capable of creating fire, seeds and rocks. These projectiles are shot through the mouth, spurred by abdominal pressure.

[locoroco1]

Studies have shown that OCTILLERY have chemical fusing chambers inside their bodies. They create everything from rocks and seeds to fire inside these chambers, which they project from their mouths.

[totodileman]

maybe something except the word fire? Flames, heat? something, but I get mixed up with fire (flame) with fire (shoot) with him.

[locoroco1]

Studies have shown that OCTILLERY have chemical fusing chambers inside their bodies. They create everything from rocks and seeds to flame inside these chambers, which they project from their mouths.

[ImmunityBow]

No "Studies have shown", please. We've used that phrase so much already, and it's easy enough to make the entry sound scientific without it. Also, singular!

[locoroco1]

OCTILLERY contain chemical fusion chambers in their bodies, which they use to create flame, rocks, even seeds. Each OCTILLERY has different size chambers, giving different strengths to each OCTILLERY.

[totodileman]

too many octillery's

[locoroco1]

OCTILLERY contain chemical fusion chambers in their bodies, which they use to create flame, rocks, even seeds. Each OCTILLERY has different size chambers, giving different strengths to each one.

[PokePoindexter]

I'm not too sure about that one. "Flame, rocks, even seeds" is a very awkward wording. And again, it has to be singular.

Here's my entry idea, based slightly off Loco's:

OCTILLERY's skin contains special chemical chambers, allowing it to expel various substances from its body. In battle, it uses this ability to stall its opponent for just enough time to escape.

[locoroco1]

The idea is to explain how Octillery can learn moves like flamethrower, bullet seed, and rock blast.

OCTILLERY contain chemical fusion chambers in their bodies, which they use to create various projectiles. The size of the varying chambers are different in each, giving each different specialties.

[PokePoindexter]

For the fourth time, the entry needs to be in singular form. (contains, not contain; its body, not their bodies, etc.)

Anyway, that's a bit better, but I personally think it's better to describe how that power can be applied rather than simply describing the size, although I could be wrong.

[locoroco1]

OCTILLERY contains chemical fusion chambers in its body, which it uses to create various projectiles. The size of the varying chambers are different in each, giving each different specialties.

[ImmunityBow]

Sorry, but I don't feel like any of your variations have really improved beyond the first, content-wise (singular is better, though). Octillery can do tons of things by itself, it's not that each Octillery does different things. It can have Bullet Seed, Rock Blast and Octazooka all together.

[locoroco1]

Octillery remained a scientific curiosity for years due to it's wide range of attacks. It was eventually discovered that Octillery contains chemical fusion chambers, where it combines various elements to create it's various projectiles.

[ImmunityBow]

Again, I don't believe it's necessary to go overboard on "scientific curiosity" and "studies have shown" and any of the things we normally throw in to make entries seem more encyclopedic because the concept is so scientific-sounding already. The entry is also 5 or so words longer than it should be (try not to go over 1.8-ish lines if you can!) The is otherwise sound, but please, don't forget to capitalize OCTILLERY!

[locoroco1]

OCTILLERY contain chemical fusion chambers which they use to create various projectiles. Because of this ability, they are sought after by collectors in order to obtain rare substances.

OCTILLERY contain chemical fusion chambers which they use to create various projectiles. Their ink is actually a special blend of elements making it extemely hard to clean.

[Reliability]

OCTILLERY contain chemical fusion chambers which is uses to create various projectiles. Because of this ability, it is sought after by collectors in order to obtain rare substances.

OCTILLERY contain chemical fusion chambers which it uses to create various projectiles. It's ink is actually a special blend of elements making it extemely hard to clean.

Singularized. I also created one of my own for kicks.

OCTILLERY fires a variety of projectiles from it's mouth. No other POKEMON is known to naturally produce as many different substances as OCTILLERY.

[NyteFyre]

Out of those 3, I find Reli's the best.

[ImmunityBow]

Sorry, but I'm not a fan of Reliability's ether. Somehow it takes a very scientific sounding concept and then loses the parts of the content that made it that way in the first place. I'm really enamoured with the idea of "chemical fusion chambers" which is probably what I'm still looking for.

[Black Temple Gaurdian]

OCTILLERY has chemical fusion chambers located behind the mouth, allowing it to produce many variaties of projectile. Research is ongoing as to the limits of these chambers.

Maybe?
Or

OCTILLERY contains unique chemical fusion chambers within its body. Located behind the mouth, these chambers are responsible for the various types of projectile used.

[ImmunityBow]

OCTILLERY contains several unique chemical fusion chambers within its body. Located behind the mouth, they are responsible for the various types of projectile it uses.

Is worded better, the first one's second sentence is unnecessary filler, content-wise.

[Reliability]

I don't think it's clear whether the 'it' at the end refers to Octillery or the mouth. I think it ought to be changed to a second Octillery.

[Tyrannigon64]

OCTILLERY have many glands in their body that allow them to create and use several types of projectiles. It fuels these glands by eating different types of food.

Trying to bring something new to the table

[Sev]

OCTILLERY is contradicting type POKEMON. The heat from its body creates steam.

[Tyrannigon64]

Too short, and since when does its body create steam? What we're trying to get across is how Octillery can use Flamethrower, Bullet Seed, Rock Blast, etc.

[Sev]

i just tried to throw something new out there

[ImmunityBow]

I really think that the mark was hit early on in the topic. Locoroco's original, shortened and reformatted to style (capitalized and singular) is already perfect as it is: evocative, resonant, and interesting. I don't know if others feel the same way, but I don't think we really need more ideas, just improvements to that concept and votes.

Opinions?

[NyteFyre]

I'd have to agree at this point. Mind posting the shortened version?

[MeekRhino]

OCTILLERY contains severa unique chemical fusion chambers within its body. Located behind the mouth, the yare responsible for the various types of projectile it uses.

I really like this one, and I don't think any changes are necessaryd

[Black Temple Gaurdian]

^ That, with the typo removed obviously. Though I CBA to check the others TBH.

[ImmunityBow]

Mm... I always found that particular one to be a little too dry.

As for the version NyteFyre asked for:

Located inside OCTILLERY's stomach are several chemical fusing chambers. Inside, it creates everything from rocks and seeds to fire, which it fires from its mouth.

[NyteFyre]

Yeah, that sounds like a plan to me.

+1 voted.

[MeekRhino]

As stated earlier, the second 'fire' should be changed to something else, such as 'project' to avoid the annoying repetition.

Located inside OCTILLERY's stomach are several chemical fusing chambers. Inside, it creates everything from rocks and seeds to fire, which it projects from its mouth.

[ImmunityBow]

Located inside OCTILLERY's stomach are several chemical fusing chambers. Inside, it creates everything from rocks and seeds to fire, which it shoots from its mouth.

You're right, hadn't noticed it before.

[NyteFyre]

/+1 vote IB

[Tyrannigon64]

/+1 vote IB

[MeekRhino]

+1

[Cyndadile]

This makes 5.

[ImmunityBow]

Okay then.

Octillery: Located inside OCTILLERY's stomach are several chemical fusing chambers. Inside, it creates everything from rocks and seeds to fire, which it shoots from its mouth.