Post ideas for Forretress here.
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Post ideas for Forretress here.
FORRETRESS's hard shell is said to have a layer of steel which protects it from severe damage by physical attacks. However though, If its hard shell is hit by fire, It will start acting crazy.
"Crazy" isn't a very good word for Dex entries...maybe "berserk" would have worked better?
Anyway, I don't really like that entry much, so here's my idea:
"FORRETRESS is well-known by zoologists as one of the least-understood bug Pokemon. No one knows what is inside its shell. When first discovered, some scientists theorized that this Pokemon was really a land-dwelling CLOYSTER."
A little wordy, but it's very interesting, I feel. Also, you can remove the bolded sentence if it makes the entry any better.
Why Cloyster? Before the GSC games were out, I saw a bunch of Japanese trading cards in a magazine I read somewhere. It showed several cards of Unown...and an "underwater" Forretress! I'm not kidding, it looked like it was leaning on a chunk of rock with bubbles surrounding it. I described it to my friends back then as being a "Blastoise-Cloyster-Shellder mix".
Well, it's decent, right?
I like pikang's. The middle sentence should be taken out if we want to stick to two clauses though.
I agree with ragingprimeape.
same as above.....
/Ninja
I have to agree that mine was pretty bad. Anyway I like yours but without the bolded sentence.
I say have a common before said bolder sentqnce. These entries do take up 2 pages remember.
A "common?" Do you mean a comma? I think it's plenty long.
I'd prefer if the entries were a little less than two lines long, maximum one or two words onto the third. Look at Kipporok and Slowpriest's entries. Those are the absolutely maximum size, and those even have the names added already.
The length seems fine without the bolded sentence to me.
Get the bolded sentence out and we'll be good to go.
The problem is that without the second sentence, there is nothing to clarify the first.
Why? The third sentence doesn't explain that. How about this?Quote:
FORRETRESS is well-known by zoologists as one of the least-understood bug Pokemon.
Many zoologists have attempted to solve the baffling mystery of the contents of FORRETRESS' shell. Since it is much the same with the sea-dwelling CLOYSTER, it was once believed they were a related species.
Or is that too long?
Thatz nice.
I think it might be a little too long.
Despite the fact that Pokemon RSE had two pages for all their entries, I'd say that its not that long.
Oh all right its pretty much the same anyway.
HITMONTOP spins on its head at high speed, all the while delivering kicks. This technique is a remarkable mix of both offense and defense at the same time. The POKéMON travels faster spinning than it does walking.
Many zoologists have attempted to solve the baffling mystery of the contents of FORRETRESS' shell. Since it is much the same with the sea-dwelling CLOYSTER, it was once believed they were a related species.
This one's just about as long as the longest RSE entry I found after 10 tries, so I guess it's just about acceptable, but only just so.
Well, since it's under it should work fine. It's a cool entry.
IB's entry works, although I don't know that "zoologist" is ever used to refer to people who study Pokémon. It might technically be a viable term, who knows, but I think that a simple and more general "scientists" or "researchers" might be a bit safer.
Scientists sounds better when inserted into it.
Now that you bring it up maybe that's a better idea:
Many scientists have attempted to solve the baffling mystery of the contents of FORRETRESS' shell. Since it is much the same with the sea-dwelling CLOYSTER, it was once believed they were a related species.
That sounds good to me.
indeed. I vote yes.
Thats good with me.
Bumping and requesting officiallization. I think IB's latest edit is good for the game. Isn't Forretress a demo-mon anyway?
Removed some of the redundant descriptive language.Quote:
Originally Posted by ImmunityBow
Its done.
Yes, Piro's edit works very nicely.
Final confirmation of piro's edit?
Has this thread been confirmed yet because it should be locked by now.
Yes, it's probably done by now.
Quote:
Many scientists have attempted to solve the mystery of the contents of FORRETRESS' shell. Since it bears much in common with the sea-dwelling CLOYSTER, it was once believed they were a related species.