Post ideas for Seviper here.
Printable View
Post ideas for Seviper here.
SEVIPER is known to have a long rivalry with ZANGOOSE dating back to ancient times. It lives in thick grasslands, awaiting prey to come close enough for it to grasp it in its jaws.
SEVIPER are very adaptive to their environment and can live comfortably in many different places. Their nests can been found in trees, cliffs, abandoned buildings, and underground.
Wouldn't just "underground" work? Otherwise, I like it.
We should probably wait for more options, though.
1+ to Reli's.
Sounds great to me, aside from Cyndadiles' comment.
+1
Fixed. 1 more vote makes four.
Did you count me? If not, then you've got 4.
Creator does not count as a vote.
I don't know. It think it's a bit too generic. What makes Seviper so adaptive to its environment, over any other Pokemon? The second sentence is fine for the most part but the first leaves a little to be desired in terms of content.
I agree with IB. One more thing I want to ask is if a seviper can actually climb a tree. Well, it is heavier than Ekans you know.
A SEVIPER will strike at its prey with fangs laced with a potent venom. This venom is a key ingredient in certain healing potions, despite its toxic nature.
1+
Still, I like the rivalry idea.
That's not really a +1 then. Don't vote yes if you don't actually like the entry, that defeats the purpose. (If we got 5 "meh" votes for an entry, then we'd just have a "meh" entry, not a good one, in which case I could just make all the "meh" entries myself, or something, without a vote. /convoluted sentence structure)
Is BTG's entry playing on the idea of sera found in toxins? Is there something that would make it particular to Seviper? (say, is this quality something particular of vipers but not asps? etc.) The entry just leaves me wondering why it would be used in certain healing potions.
IB, you should know that one should avoid run-on sentences! :p
I do think that we should include something about being used in potions or antidotes, because the gym badge seems to rely on that idea.
I think if we're going to capitalize on Seviper poison being usable as medicine, we should base the entry entirely around that idea:
Quote:
SEVIPER's venom has been revered for generations as a powerful healing item when taken in very small quantities. Trace amounts are used in potions and antidotes.
The main problem with that entry is that the first and second sentences are essentially the same idea: small amounts of Seviper venom can heal. Because of that, it needs to be changed to have more content.
SEVIPER's venom is usually deadly, and will kill whoever is affected in a matter of seconds. However, in trace amounts it has healing properties, and is used in many potions.
Another take:
Quote:
SEVIPER's venom has been revered for generations as a powerful healing item when taken in very small quantities. In one day, it produces enough to cure an entire city.
The effect is too exaggerated. Seviper's not even the final stage! The implications for the Pokemon world are very large, because they basically have a Pokemon that can produce panacea in very large quantities.
I've always loved the word panacea.
Trace amounts of SEVIPER's deadly venom are used in every POTION and ANTIDOTE. There is a lab in COLOSSUS CITY dedicated to developing a panacea using the venom's healing properties.
Or, if panacea is too uncommon to use;
Trace amounts of SEVIPER's deadly venom are used in every POTION and ANTIDOTE. There is a lab in COLOSSUS CITY dedicated to using the venom's healing properties to develop a potion that will cure all illnesses.
Illnesses? Illnessi sounds cooler. Anyways, were the correct things capitalized?
Every single potion and antidote? I'd prefer "most". Anyways...*Looks up "panacea"*...I'd say either use the first as is, or use the second and change what the lab is using the venom for. For some reason a potion that cures all illnesses seems impossible, even for the Pokemon world. Panacea I think can imply that it heals a lot of major illnesses, which would be better.
I would have said potions and antidotes, but I didn't want to figure out whether I would have to capitalize the "s" at the end to go with the capitalized item name.
Also, both entries mean the same thing. A panacea IS a cure-all.
Okay, then replace "panacea" with a cure-most (of course, worded better than "cure-most").
But why would they be aiming for a cure-most? They want a cure-all. Its what they are aiming for. They could be optimists.
Perhaps because a cure-all is impossible and they know it?
It's probably impossible to end wars, live forever, go faster than the speed of light, convince the President of the United States to do something to stop poverty, etc. But we never stop trying. Mr. Columbus was told that it was impossible to sail across the world. It was supposed to be impossible for the Titanic to sink. No one though we had a chance of harnessing nuclear power, but we did. Aim for the top! Anything could be possible, so why would they try for anything below extraordinary? Just because you think it's impossible doesn't mean that everyone does. For instance, I used to think that it was impossible to put your foot behind your head and lick it. I was proven wrong about that. It was somewhat disgusting. They had dirty socks.
That was probably the cheesiest thing I ever heard. Either way, I guess panacea/cure-all could work.
I really think the scale is just too large. Seviper isn't even really that extraordinary a Pokemon, couldn't its properties be just a little more modest?
Trace amounts of SEVIPER's deadly venom have chemical properties that can be used to treat specific conditions. A pharmacy in CIANWOOD CITY has developed medicine for use on POKéMON.
The second sentence seems completely unrelated to the first.
-.- That's what I get for moving clauses around. A re-write:
SEVIPER's deadly venom has a unique chemical make-up. A pharmacy in CIANWOOD CITY has developed a compound out of the poison that cures a few rare conditions.
The tone is very professional. The entry gets a yes from me.
^Me too.
+
Just need one more person.
Yes. Final vote I believe?
Okay:
Seviper: SEVIPER's deadly venom has a unique chemical make-up. A pharmacy in CIANWOOD CITY has developed a compound out of the poison that cures a few rare conditions.