Post ideas for Loudred here.
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Post ideas for Loudred here.
LOUDRED can hear with extreme precision for several miles around. However, it is often making far too much noise for this ability to be put to use.
I like it +1
nice! +1
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I like the concept but it leaves me wondering why it's making so much noise. The fact established that it makes tons of noise seems out of the blue and uncalled for. Maybe something more like:
LOUDRED can hear with extreme precision for several miles around. It is often found making a racket, attempting to drown out all the environmental noise before it goes insane.
that sounds fine, IB, but don't you think before it goes insane is a little extreme?
Maybe, but I couldn't think of anything as evocative.
"Several miles around" seems a bit vague. How's this:
Quote:
LOUDRED's sense of hearing is 100 times stronger than humans. If it is startled by a noise from behind, it will become surprised and scream deafeningly until it runs out of breath.
Sounds good to me.
Not sure if the adjective is needed, it makes it a bit wordy.
Maybe some flavor text would be good but "deafeningly" doesn't roll off the tongue, so to speak.
I'm gonna have a try at this.
LOUDRED's sense of hearing is 100 times stronger compared to that of a human. In battle, these POKEMON will try to intimdate their opponents by (screaming/shouting/yelling) at an ear-deafening rate.
I wasn't sure which word would fit in the best so I tried three options. I like shouting but i'm not sure about you guys.
I changed the order of IB's second phrase, and I think it sounds better:
Quote:
LOUDRED can hear with extreme precision for several miles around. To prevent insanity caused by all the environmental noise, LOUDRED fills its head with its own deafening cries.
That's way better.
+1
+1
Insanity seems a bit extreme, but I'm not sure what else could be put there.
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Sorry Tygon, but unless there is something concrete that we can put in place, this has got the votes.
Loudred: LOUDRED can hear with extreme precision for several miles around. To prevent insanity caused by all the environmental noise, it fills its head with its own deafening cries.