Log in

View Full Version : STILL Not Pokemon



Black Temple Gaurdian
01-08-11, 10:40 AM
But still contains super powers. Since I'm not allowed to "advertise" (read: link to another sight that is actually dedicate to this stuff, which is about the topic and thus completely on-topic), I'll just post it here. Athough there's bits I plan to rewrite. Well kinda. Depending on public opinion. Anyway, it's a Harry Potter, Bioshock crossover, enjoy!

Chapter 1:

Harry felt as the Basilisk's poison seeped through his body. Tom stood over him laughing.
"Thought you could win?" Tom asked, his voice soft and taunting. "Not a chance."
"You shouldn't have done that." Harry spat as the venom started taking effect. "You really shouldn't of done that." He rose shakily to his feet.
"Really?" Tom asked, his voice full of mocking curiosity, "Why ever not?"
"Because-" Harry stammered out, "-no one fucks with me."
And with the last of his strength he ripped the fang out of his shoulder and slammed it into the book. Ink spurting everywhere and Tom's pain-filled screaming blurred in and out of vision as Harry felt, and saw, the blackness envelope him. Then there was nothing, no pain, no Tom Riddle, no Basilisk's venom, just emptiness. But there, on the edge of his hearing was a sound, the most beautiful sound. As the sound grew louder the source reviled itself, a Phoenix. Only this was the most beautiful, awe-inspiring and, dangerous, phoenix Harry had ever seen. It's wings and body were a flame, except there was no body, just flame. As it grew closer Harry blinked in surprise, it was massive. The phoenix landed and turned to face Harry.

"Do not fear, young one. I come in peace." It spoke into Harry's mind. It's voice commanded respect, no, it's voice forced respect. No one could hear a voice like that and not respect the speaker.
"You died. You should not of died. Beware Harry Potter, your path will be dangerous. You will be reborn. And like a newborn you will be naked and defenceless at first. Take care Harry Potter, for now it is time to return to the living."
The phoenix's flames grew and engulfed Harry. They didn't hurt, but they still stung. A particularly painful jolt forced his eyes open and even in this disoriented state he could tell two things, he was no longer in the Chamber of Secrets and he was naked. Damn that "god" was being literal. "Wait... god?" The trail of thought was rather suddenly cut off when the doors in front of him opened and water poured in. He had to think fast or die. Harry wasn't exceptionally bright, not like Hermione, but he had a knack for doing the impossible. So when a bubble-head charm appeared around him he wasn't surprised, even though such charm wasn't taught for a few years yet. Not to mention that he'd done so wandlessly.
The pressure crushed in on him, threatening to kill him. He had to get rid of this water. Glancing around he spotted a lever, above it faded gold words read "Emergency Draining Controls". Harry swam to it and, with effort, pulled down the lever. Nothing happened. Shit. Next to the lever a screen flickered on. It read "Airlock seal broken." Well that was just great. Oh well, at least there was only one way to go. He swam up the stairs and around the corner, under a partially closed door and up some more stairs. It was almost fun, if it weren't for the crushing pressure. Then he came face to face with the problem. The airlock door had buckled and the central piece was missing. Praying it'd work, Harry concentrated on the word "Repairo" and waved his hand. Two things happened. On one hand the door straightened out and the central piece flew back into position. On the other, his bubble-head charm failed. He tried and failed to get it to return. Tried again. Failed. Now running out of oxygen and panicking madly, Harry swam as fast as he could back down stairs. Halfway down the second set of steps he let out a breath despite himself. Suddenly he was in front of the lever. He grasped at it and forced it down. He smiled as the water started to drain away, then he blacked out.


~~ Of The Ashes ~~
~~ Of The Ashes ~~

"She's conscious Brigid! She's conscious!"
"All right, put her under whilst I attempt to merge the DNA of the little one and the slug."
...
"Hello? Can you here me? Hello?"
"Hello?" Harry called back. Only it wasn't his voice, it was the voice of a young girl.
"Good, no signs of mental trauma. The operation was a complete success."
A crash. Gunfire. Screams. The table falls infront of her. People moving about. The door shutting. The cold.
...
"Little one! Are you okay?"
"Where- Where am I?" Harry heard himself reply in that same girl's voice.
"Hmm, loss of memory. This could be, useful. Your name is Lily Evans, and you're in Rapture. Tell me little one, would you like to see your family?"
...
"Thank you Heir Evans, thank you for saving the little one."
"I'll raise her as my own."


~~Of The Ashes ~~
~~ Of The Ashes ~~

Footsteps, coming closer. Two sets, one small on very large. Stopping... Where were they? Right next him. Great, time to open our eyes. Two figures stood over him, a small girl with glowing yellow eyes and a very tatty dress and a massive, hulking... thing.
"Look daddy, it's an angel! I can see the light coming from his belly! Wait, he's still breathing. Don't worry, he'll be an angel soon enough."
As they walked away the darkness re-encompassed him.

"Daddy? Daddy wake up. It's time to play." Standing above him was another little girl, only her dress was a lot cleaner. Groggily, Harry stood up. As he looked around him he froze. It was obvious where the water had come from now. Taking up most of one wall was a series of massive windows. But that wasn't what made him freeze. Outside the window was an impossible sight. Before him loomed a massive city complete with neon signs, on what appeared to be the bottom of the ocean.
A/N: This is a lot harder than expected.

Or Chapter 1?:
A/N: Chapter 1 has been rewritten. It's now longer (hopefully) and contains more backstory (well, kinda).

Chapter 1:
Harry felt as the Basilisk's poison seeped through his body. Tom stood over him laughing.
"Thought you could win?" Tom asked, his voice soft and taunting. "Not a chance."
"You shouldn't have done that." Harry spat as the venom started taking effect. "You really shouldn't of done that." He rose shakily to his feet.
"Really?" Tom asked, his voice full of mocking curiosity, "Why ever not?"
"Because-" Harry stammered out, "-no one fucks with me."
And with the last of his strength he ripped the fang out of his shoulder and slammed it into the book. Ink spurting everywhere and Tom's pain-filled screaming blurred in and out of vision as Harry felt, and saw, the blackness envelope him. Then there was nothing, no pain, no Tom Riddle, no Basilisk's venom, just emptiness. But there, on the edge of his hearing was a sound, the most beautiful sound. As the sound grew louder the it became distinguishable, Phoenix song. Only this was the most beautiful, awe-inspiring song Harry had ever heard. It sung of rebirth and new life. Then it began to take form, it's wings and body were a flame, except there was no body, just flame. As it grew closer Harry blinked in surprise, it was massive. The phoenix landed and turned to face Harry.
"The road is long and winding," It spoke into Harry's mind. It's voice commanded respect, no, it's voice forced respect. No one could hear a voice like that and not respect the speaker.
"You died. You should not of died. We have come to a fork in the path. You will be reborn. Great challenges await you on either path. Take care Harry Potter, for now it is time to return to the living."
The phoenix's flames grew and engulfed Harry. They didn't hurt, but they still stung. A particularly painful jolt forced his eyes open and even in this disoriented state he could tell two things, he was no longer in the Chamber of Secrets and he was naked. Suddenly a pair of doors in front of him opened and water poured in. He had to think fast or die. Harry wasn't exceptionally bright, not like Hermione, but he had a knack for doing the impossible. So when a bubble-head charm appeared around him he wasn't surprised, even though such charm wasn't taught for a few years yet. Not to mention that he'd done so wandlessly.

The pressure crushed in on him, threatening to kill him. He had to get rid of this water. Glancing around he spotted a lever, above it faded gold words read "Emergency Draining Controls". Harry swam to it and, with effort, pulled down the lever. Nothing happened. Shit. Next to the lever a screen flickered on. It read "Airlock seal broken." Well that was just great. Oh well, at least there was only one way to go. He swam up the stairs and around the corner, under a partially closed door and up some more stairs. It was almost fun, if it weren't for the crushing pressure. Then he came face to face with the problem. The airlock door had buckled and the central piece was missing. Praying it'd work, Harry concentrated on the word "Repairo" and waved his hand. Two things happened. On one hand the door straightened out and the central piece flew back into position. On the other, his bubble-head charm failed. He tried and failed to get it to return. Tried again. Failed. Now running out of oxygen and panicking madly, Harry swam as fast as he could back down stairs. Halfway down the second set of steps he let out a breath despite himself. Suddenly he was in front of the lever. He grasped at it and forced it down. He smiled as the water started to drain away, then he blacked out.


~~ Of The Ashes ~~
~~ Of The Ashes ~~

"Let me know if her condition improves."
“Of course. Wait! Sophia! She is conscious!”
A woman hurried into view.
“Eleanor? Can you hear me? Do you recognise who I am?”
“Mother?”
“That's right Eleanor, rest now.”
As her vision faded she caught the tail end of her mother's conversation.
“-what has the implantation done?”
“Well, every cell in her body is ADAM based. It also appears that she can filter and produce ADAM like the slug-”


~~ Of The Ashes ~~
~~ Of The Ashes ~~

Footsteps, coming closer. Two sets, one small on very large. Stopping... Where were they? Right next him. Great, time to open our eyes. Two figures stood over him, a small girl with glowing yellow eyes and a very tatty dress and a massive, hulking... thing.
"Look daddy, it's an angel! I can see the light coming from his belly! Wait, he's still breathing. Don't worry, he'll be an angel soon enough."
As they walked away the darkness re-encompassed him.

Groggily, Harry stood up. As he looked around him he froze. It was obvious where the water had come from now. Taking up most of one wall was a series of massive windows. But that wasn't what made him freeze. Outside the window was an impossible sight. Before him loomed a massive city complete with neon signs, on what appeared to be the bottom of the ocean. He shook himself from the eerily beautiful scene and started to explore a little. There were some clothes in trunks but they were all completely soaked, to the point of disintegrating in his hands. He carried on back towards where the airlock was, seeing no other way out. As the airlock door opened he could see what had caused the flooding. Half of an aeroplane was stuck out of the side of the passage, to big for his magic to move.
“First time splicing's got a kick like a mule, but there's nothing better than a fist full o' lightning now is there?”
He shook his head and looked behind him. He could of sworn he was stood a couple of feet back from where he was with what appeared to be electricity coursing through his arm. Slowly he ascended the stairs to the balcony above.
He walked up to the machine and picked up the jar. Taking the syringe he extracted the liquid inside and injected it into one of his vein. Pain filled his vision as his muscles spasmed. He gripped the railing in attempt to stay upright. Another spasm and the ground was rushing up to greet him personally.
He fell forwards, hitting the stairs with a thud. He picked himself up warily and proceeded up the stairs. In front of him was the machine he'd just seen in his vision. He reached forward to take the bottle but his hands brushed against air. Looking more carefully the machine was empty. He sighed and walked back downstairs. He picked his way through the wreck of a plane and into the next area. There was another one of those machines he'd fallen out of and a weird glowing syringe capsule, which he pocketed, but other than that there was nothing of interest. He proceeded up the stairs to discover an atrium of sorts with six elevators. Of course only one was working so his choice was simple.

As the elevator ascended he took a good look at the city. Parts of it were crumbling and in disrepair, whilst others were faded and damp. It was obvious there had been a leak, which had been patched up, but no sign of inhabitants. The lift arrived at its destination with a simple 'ding' and Harry stepped off. He stepped through the door on his right. Then ducked behind the bar. Two people with mean-looking machine guns waded through the dining area. Unfortunately, they heard him. As he popped his head up several shots whirled overhead. He through a bottle in the general direction but it missed. Suddenly the bullets stopped as both people reloaded. He dived for a pillar by the stairs. One of the people lit a make-shift grenade and through it at him. Instinctively he raised his hands across his face and the grenade went flying back, impacted a window and exploded. Water poured in catching everyone off guard and throwing them to the floor. Slowly blast shields raised over the windows, shutting off the water flow. Harry started to get to his feet but stopped when he looked up. Infront of him stood both of his foes, their guns pointed at him.
A/N: This is a lot harder than expected.

Which is better?

Of course, I would link you to the site and have this be a discussion thread, but apparently that's ADVERTISING.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Advertising is only allowed through a signature. Breaking this rule is a bannable offense. Mods and Admins have final judgment as to whether a post is considered advertisement or not.

Point made.

Black Temple Gaurdian
01-08-11, 11:43 PM
Yes, and if I was I betting man, I'd bet the others would well otherwise. However I'm not so here's the OLD chapter 2, which I CBA to reformat and because I'm not allowed to link to a site (unless I post it on Youtube? :P :/ ) you'll just have to live with it.

Chapter 2 (OLD)
Harry wandered up through the deserted areas, following the lead of the little girl It was when he was ascending a particularly long set of stairs he heard it. An odd squelching sound and a man's voice. Suddenly the little girl he'd been following screamed. He ran up the stairs to see a truly bizarre sight. The girl he was following was stood over a corpse, a weird needle with what looked like a vial of blood in hand and a hideous looking man advancing menacingly on her with a broken pipe.
Harry felt anger well up inside of him, this man dared to attack an unarmed child? His magic rushed through him and he instinctively raised his hand. The man began to lift into the air and started shouting. The man caught Harry's eye and then whitened and started struggling harder against the invisible force keeping him in the air. Coldly, Harry sweep his hand to the right and the man flew into the far side wall with a sickening crunch. A sharp pain on the back of his head knocked Harry to the floor. As he fell he twisted so he was facing his attacker, another deformed man. Harry threw out his arms and the man flew straight up, his neck snapping as it hit the ceiling. Harry skidded as he impacted the ground, only stopping when he impacted a trash can, with his head. Unfortunately all the head injuries were simply to much and Harry blacked out.
~~ Of The Ashes ~~
~~ Of The Ashes ~~
"Lilly! There's a letter here for you!"
"Coming mum! Just hang on a minute!"
"And a postcard! Although I've never heard of 'Rapture'!"
He dropped what he was doing and ran to the kitchen.
"What does it say? What does it say?"
"It's says you've been accepted to 'Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry'-"
He stopped listening and grabbed the postcard off the table. For some reason the name Rapture rung a bell. On the front was a beautiful underwater city with fish swimming in between all the buildings. Odd, apart from what was already printed on, the postcard was completely blank.
"Look at this! Is this some kind of joke? Wands? Cauldrons? 'Standard Book of Spells Grade 1...
~~ Of The Ashes ~~
~~ Of The Ashes ~~
"Rise and shine daddy, the angels are calling! Here, daddy's no good without his drink!"
The little girl handed him a vial of what looked suspiciously like blood. On the end of the vial was a dummy cap. Harry reached out for the vial, wincing at the friction burns on his shoulder blades and his throbbing head. Slowly he sucked on the vial, the stuff even tasted like blood. Without warning his insides burnt so hotly he could swear he was on fire. Still, he should drink it all. If it was some kind of healing potion it might not work if he didn't drink it all. Suddenly the fire lessened and the pain in his back had gone, along with his throbbing head.
"Daddy's all better now!" The little girl declared happily. "Come on mister, the angels are waiting!"
The little girl happily lead him through a couple of rooms and a underwater sky-bridge, skipping all the way. Suddenly the little girl stilled. Ahead were a group of deformed people, some had handguns whilst others had makeshift melee weapons. Harry's hopes suddenly dropped, last time he'd accidentally called upon his magic, he doubted he could do it again. Still, maybe he could sneak around them.
"Hey look, it's one of them Little Sisters!"
Or not. A bullet whizzed past his ear as one of the ones with a handgun took a shot. He could hear a guy running towards his left, dragging a lead pipe. He jumped and went to swing the pipe but Harry raised his hand a caught it. He placed another hand and started to swing. The guy went first, flying into one of his companions feet first. The lead pipe soon followed sending a 'leadhead' to the ground. These guys were little more than thugs, those with guns were a bigger threat, however. Taking a deep breath he ran forwards and tackled into one of the leadheads. Before his foe could orientate himself Harry slipped round behind him and squeezed his gun arm hard enough to crack the bone. A shot fire as the leadhead's hand automatically contracted and another leadhead fell. He pushed his hostage towards the last leadhead who, having seen the leadhead stumbling towards him take out one of his own, open fired. One leadhead was left, along with two of the more thuggish ones. Harry's vision slowed as the remaining leadhead fired. He could see the bullet spinning towards him. Instinctually he reached out to the bullet, grabbing it with his magic, spun and released. His perspective of time righted itself and he saw the final leadhead go down. The thuggish ones had already set off, however, and were fast approaching from opposite sides. Just at the last minute Harry threw himself forward, a sickening crunching sound meeting his ears as the last opponents took each other out.
Harry searched their bodies, finding a few interesting things. A hypodermic needle full of an electric blue substance, a medkit, some bandages and ammo for a handgun. Suddenly the little girl ran over to him.
"Look daddy, angels!" She then started extracting blood from one of the corpses. Suddenly his actions caught up with him and he felt queasy, he'd drank blood and killed these people. He sank to the ground and waited for the adrenaline rush to stop. Next thing he knew, he was asleep.
~~ Of The Ashes ~~
~~ Of The Ashes ~~
"Use your opponent's size and strength against them. If they charge you, get them low. Let momentum do it's thing and throw them behind you. Remember, you are the unmoved mover, the pivot of the see-saw. Another helpful tip, if they run onto your fist fast, you might as well of punched 'em just as hard."
~~ Of The Ashes ~~
~~ Of The Ashes ~~
When he awoke, the little girl was sat next to him.
"Daddy was sleeping for soo long and I was bored. Come on daddy, I want to play with the angels! This way!"
Groggily Harry stood up and followed her out of the room. In the next room was several screens and a camera. Suddenly the screens flickered to life.
"Damn security, been on the blink ever since Minerva Den went down." A voice muttered before a picture formed. "Hey kid, the name's MacGuyver, Owen MacGuyver. Looks like you could do with some help, and some clothes."
Harry looked down and blushed when he realised he was still completely naked.
"Don't worry kid, I'll send some supplies through the pneumo."
A sound of rushing air alerted Harry to a cylindrical shaped device. Opening the door on it he found a bundle. As he pulled it out it, unravelled to reveal a bland white t-shirt and blue jeans dropping two objects in the process.
"Hey, careful with that kid, you're gonna need it in a bit!"
Harry pulled the clothes on and bent down to look at the objects. The first was obviously a radio. The second, however, was less obvious. It was a vial with a syringe attached and a weird red coloured liquid with darker patches floating about inside it.
"Now then kid, I'm going to be betting this is the first time you've spliced up, right?"
"Uh... spliced?"
"Miracle of medical science kiddo. Basically it rewrites your DNA to give you specific abilities, kinda like superpowers."
Harry looked hesitantly at the jar, before putting it away in his new backpack.
"Do what you like with it kid, but it's gonna be needed up ahead."
Harry walked out of the only other door in the room, the little girl following.
"That Little Sister with you then?"
"Little Sister?"
"That girl you got with you. She's a gatherer of ADAM."
"ADAM?"
"Jesus kid, where've you been living? You're in Rapture and you've never heard of ADAM?"
"I don't know, one minute I was fighting a fifty foot snake, the next I wake up here."
"Riight. So, ADAM. Remember what I said about rewriting your DNA? It's ADAM that does that. That's all you need to know."
Harry stopped, in front of him the floor dropped away further than he could see.
"See you're gonna need that Plasmid."
"Plasmid?"
"It's what we call those super-power giving vials."
"Ah right. Okay, so what do I do?"
"Take the syringe and extract the solution from the bottle. Okay, now find a vein, make sure it's not a major one though. This next bit's going to hurt, sorry kid. Insert the needle into the vein, now depress the plunger."
Harry pressed down on the plunger and immediately felt his conscience fading. He managed to pull the syringe out before fainting.

A youtube account is not another site. That would be fine.

ImmunityBow
01-09-11, 04:02 AM
Bioshock/Harry Potter crossover? Is this a fandom?

What are the random ~Of the Ashes~ for?

Also, please don't be vindictive. RP isn't out to get you, he's just trying to keep some kind of order. If we are to have rules, we need to draw the line at some point, and sometimes you will be lightly on the wrong side of the line. If you're not sure whether you're allowed to do something, PM a mod, instead of trying to shame us into letting you do whatever you want on your thread.

SilentSentinel
01-09-11, 04:09 AM
My point exactly. Like I said before, I'm going to start cracking down a bit on these things, especially since there have been a few more spambots around than usual lately.

Black Temple Gaurdian
01-09-11, 07:49 AM
They where to seperate paragraphs; on the site, it's uploaded from OpenOffice, but they changed something and line breaks don't show up anymore.

ImmunityBow
01-09-11, 01:48 PM
Stylistically, what do the ~Of the Ashes~ bring to your work that normal spacing does not? What do they represent?

Black Temple Gaurdian
01-09-11, 02:11 PM
Usually, a time jump or major scene change. Normally they're centred and TBH I just find it looks nice.