Zangoose

[Black Temple Gaurdian]

Post ideas for Zangoose here.

[Cranky Guy]

ZANGOOSE in known to have a long rivalry with SEVIPER dating back to ancient times. It is often seen sharpening its claws on the barks of trees or on hard stones.

[PokePoindexter]

I notice that save for the name placements, the first sentence of both this and Seviper's entries are identical. You should still vary them to a point.

Here's my crack at it:

ZANGOOSE is feared because of its extremely sharp claws and untamed aggression. Throughout its life, it has had a long, vicious rivalry with SEVIPER.

[Cranky Guy]

Yeah, thats good but I would just try to change the second sentence a little.

ZANGOOSE is feared because of its extremely sharp claws and untamed aggression. It is said to be born with a hatred feeling against all SEVIPER.

I think yours is better though.

[SilentSentinel]

I gotta go with Pokepoindexter's here. Cranky Guy, your second sentence seems to be a bit akward.

[Cranky Guy]

Yeah your probably right.

[Mediocrity_Incarnate]

I think hes talking about the hatred feeling part.

[Malphis]

Editing and simplifying Cranky Guy's entry a little:

ZANGOOSE is feared due to its extremely sharp claws and untamed aggression. It is born with a deep hatred against SEVIPER.

[PokePoindexter]

I think "Rivalry" makes a better word for this context than "Hatred," if you ask me.

Malphis: Yours is a little too condensed; it can be a bit longer than that.

[Cyndadile]

ZANGOOSE uses its extremely long and sharp claws both offensively and defensively. It has had a fierce rivalry with SEVIPER for many generations.

[NyteFyre]

hmm, i like Cyndadile's best, so far....

[OddCrow]

ZANGOOSE is feared because of its extremely sharp claws and untamed aggression. This Pokemon's long-standing rivalry with SEVIPER is thought to be over territory.

[Reliability]

I would love it if we could NOT mention the Seviper rivalry thing.

Wild ZANGOOSE mark their territory with symbols scratched into trees and rocks. Though thousands of examples have been studied, no two ZANGOOSE have been shown to use the same symbol.

[NyteFyre]

ehh, that runs a little too close to Weavile/Sneasel's official Dex entries. Weavile uses carvings in Ice, on rocks, and/or on trees to show territory/tell others something.

[Cyndadile]

I like it, and weavile isn't in topaz, so it doesn't matter.

[ImmunityBow]

The Zangoose/Seviper rivalry is so strong that it'd be a shame not to base the entry on that, even though every entry ever about them has been about that. Especially with the Rivalry Orb and all.

[zeroality]

Maybe we can save the rivalry thing for Zantilidae/Pythang?

As such, I like Reli's entry. It's quite appealing! Weavile won't be in Topaz anyway since that's a DP Pokemon.

[Reliability]

It just feels so implied that entries Zangoose and Seviper will be about their rivalry, when the entry should really be about the Pokemon itself. I think that with the rivalry orb looking like it does and with any back knowledge they have (most people will have played something after Gen III) it isn't necessary to include IMO.


ZANGOOSE uses its extremely long and sharp claws both offensively and defensively. This Pokemon's long-standing rivalry with SEVIPER is thought to be over territory.
If there is still disagreement, this splice of Cyn and OddCrow is the best that has been made to that end so far.

[Cyndadile]

Pythang: PYTHANG's venomous tail is strong enough to cut through solid rock, a perfect counter to the claws of its nemesis ZANTILIDAE. It often lies in wait for the opportune moment to ambush its foe.


Zantilidae: A searing hatred for PYTHANG resides in ZANTILIDAE's heart. It is constantly on the hunt for its nemesis while sharpening its battling skills on hapless passersby.

I think it should be ok to do something different, but it might still be nice to play off of the rivalry, if someone can come up with something really good, perhaps a new spin on it.

[Cranky Guy]

Whenever it is not on the look out for it's rival SEVIPER, it will be either sharpening it's claws on rocks or battling other POKEMON to help train it's battle skills. The claws of this POKEMON are known to be able to grow to an astonishing length of three metres.

Not sure about the metric system.

[Tyrannigon64]

I don't think it would make sense for Zangoose to have 10 foot long claws :P
Even 1 metre is long, 3 ft 4 in, so metres is probably not a good unit of measurement for Zangoose's claws.

[Cyndadile]

Use decimetres! My favorite unit of measurement that nobody uses!

[Tyrannigon64]

Use decimetres! My favorite unit of measurement that nobody uses!

Which means most people probably don't know them which is why we shouldn't use them.

[Cyndadile]

It is a type of metre. It's not difficult to figure out... :(

[ImmunityBow]

Three feet claws would be incredibly impractical on anything smaller than Typhidna, let alone three metres. I don't think it's possible to create a claw length that is both astonishing and practical, maybe try some other property?

[Cranky Guy]

Whenever it is not on the look out for it's rival SEVIPER, it will be either sharpening it's claws on rocks or battling other POKEMON to help train it's battle skills. Wild ZANGOOSE mark their territory by scratching unique symbols onto the barks of trees.

K?

[ImmunityBow]

The entry is very long. If it were ten words shorter, I'd have a better idea of how well the content flows in that much of a smaller space.

[Cranky Guy]

Whenever it is not looking for it's rival SEVIPER, it will be either sharpening it's claws on rocks or battling other POKEMON to help train it's battle skills. Wild ZANGOOSE mark their territory by scratching unique symbols onto trees.

Now

Whenever it is not on the look out for it's rival SEVIPER, it will be either sharpening it's claws on rocks or battling other POKEMON to help train it's battle skills. Wild ZANGOOSE mark their territory by scratching unique symbols onto the barks of trees.

Before

[Cyndadile]

Still a bit long. Also, the two sentances don't seem entirely related.

[Cranky Guy]

They aren't related in any way actually.

[Cyndadile]

The point is that they should be.

[PokePoindexter]

A correction that I would make here:

to help train its battle skills.

[Tyrannigon64]

Similar error.

Whenever it is not looking for its rival SEVIPER,

[Cranky Guy]

sorry.

[Reliability]

Still not feeling anything. I'll try something new, I guess.

Though ZANGOOSE is a strong fighter, it develops its technique more rigorously than its power. ZANGOOSE are known to spend days perfecting a single basic battle movement.

[ImmunityBow]

Still feels like it could apply to too many Pokemon. I know there are tons of cute Pokemon out there that wouldn't have this entry, but there's something about "develops its technique more rigorously than its power." And even the "perfecting a single basic battle movement" that just feels a little too general in its terms. I'd attempt a new take on the entry but I find Zangoose and Seviper to be mostly uninspiring Pokemon, sorry!

[Reliability]

My goal was to link Zangoose to the Kalypso ideal, since that is what we did with Seviper. I'll try something else.

Because of its sharp claws, ZANGOOSE trains itself rigorously to avoid scratching itself in battle. The dedication that this requires influences humans to practise to their best.

[NyteFyre]

Isn't Practice spelled with a "c"? Other than that, I like it, though the second sentece sounds a bit awkward aloud...

maybe, 'Many humans have tried to emulate Zangoose's dedication in their own lives, to some successes, and other failures." ?

[Tyrannigon64]

That's how it's spelled in Canada.

[Reliability]

I think we decided we were going to go with American spelling, but that will have to be edited in, since I honestly can't type American all the time.

Because of its sharp claws, ZANGOOSE trains itself rigorously to avoid scratching itself in battle. Many humans have tried to emulate Zangoose's dedication in their own ambitions.

[Reliability]

Because of its sharp claws, ZANGOOSE trains itself rigorously to avoid scratching itself in battle. This dedication to perfection is greatly admired, especially in athletic and artistic circles.

Alternate of the above. Thoughts on either?

[Tyrannigon64]

Why is its dedication to perfection be admired in artistic circles? Otherwise, I like it.

[Reliability]

Most artists I know are striving toward the ideal of perfection through improvement (whether it is possible or not to reach it is an entirely different story).

[Tyrannigon64]

Okay, I'm a bit iffy with that part, but other than that it gets a vote from me.

[ImmunityBow]

My issue is rather that training to attain one thing (non self-destructive battle) doesn't quite sync up with "dedication to perfection" for me.

[Cranky Guy]

The dedication that ZANGOOSE puts in to train it's battling skills inspires many people to do the same. It is this hard determination that often thrives ZANGOOSE to become victorious in battles against other POKEMON.

Does anybody notice that this is the last pokedex entry left?

[ImmunityBow]

We noticed. This one unfortunately brings it back down to the generic level, since it could apply to any Pokemon.

[Silver]

ZANGOOSE are extremely loyal to their trainers.
They are known for attacking SEVIPER without
hesitation although recent studies conclude that
it is the aroma of a SEVIPERs poison which causes
these POKEMONs sudden outbursts

[Tyrannigon64]

I'm pretty sure we're trying to avoid the rivalry thing.

[Cyndadile]

I'm pretty sure we're trying to avoid the rivalry thing.


The Zangoose/Seviper rivalry is so strong that it'd be a shame not to base the entry on that, even though every entry ever about them has been about that. Especially with the Rivalry Orb and all.

Anyways, I'll try another:

ZANGOOSE uses its agility and sharp claws to become a formidable threat to any opponent. Many swordsmen train with [ZANGOOSE/it] to match its balance between speed and strength.

Or, to include Seviper:

ZANGOOSE uses its agility and sharp claws to attack its long-standing rival, SEVIPER. Many swordsmen train with [ZANGOOSE/it] to match its balance between speed and strength.

[MeekRhino]

I like the first. The second is mixing two unrelated ideas; the bit about Seviper seems out of place in that one.

[ImmunityBow]

Seviper is never out of place in a Zangoose entry. It might be out of place in isolation, but in context it will resonate with any Pokemon fan.

The entry no longer feels generically applicable to any Pokemon, which is good, but overall it still doesn't seem interesting enough.

[MeekRhino]

I only meant it was out of place in that it didn't fit in that particular way.

[ImmunityBow]

I think it does, though, since I think previous canon entries have said things on those lines (Zangoose using X to fight its nemesis Seviper).

[Cranky Guy]

ZANGOOSE use their agility and sharp claws to full advantage in battles against their long-standing rivals, SEVIPER. They are known to train for several days just to perfect a single basic battle movement.

How's that?

[Sev]

Was the rivalry included in the Seviper entry? Then answer to that question is the answer to the question of we should include the rivalry in this one or not?

[Tyrannigon64]

It wasn't included in the Seviper entry, and I agree that the rivalry shouldn't be included in this one either for that reason.

[Black Temple Gaurdian]

It wasn't included in the Seviper entry, and I agree that the rivalry shouldn't be included in this one either for that reason.

It's for this reason I like it. The rivalry's really too far established NOT to be mentioned IMO.

[Tyrannigon64]

??? What I'm saying is that Seviper's entry did not have any mention to the rivalry, so it doesn't make much sense to include it in Zangoose's.

[Cranky Guy]

Most of the entries that sound suitable for Zangoose are usually too generic and coul apply to most pokemon, such as,

The dedication that ZANGOOSE puts in to train it's battling skills inspires many people to do the same. It is this hard determination that often thrives ZANGOOSE to become victorious in battles against other POKEMON.

That is why I added Seviper to the entry, cause when you mention rivalry with Seviper, Only Zangoose comes to mind. But if you don't agree, I already tried a different one.

ZANGOOSE use their agility and sharp claws to full advantage in battles against their opponents. They are known to train for several days just to perfect a single basic battle movement.

[locoroco1]

Zangoose is the eternal rival of Seviper. According to legend, the scar on the chest of a Zangoose is passed down from the first clash between the two pokemon.

Zangoose is the eternal rival of Seviper. The two's hate for eachother is said to stem from an ancient battle between the two that left the first Zangoose with it's scar.

[MeekRhino]

Wooooo! Interest in this thread!

I like both of the entries, especially the first wording. The only problem with this would be if it has already been used in a previous entry or if it conflicts with one. Otherwise, it has my vote.

[ImmunityBow]

Wow, I like that! It works! A couple of quality assurance edits, but leaving the concept untouched:

ZANGOOSE's eternal rival is SEVIPER. According to legend, the red scar on its chest is passed down from the first clash between the two POKEMON.

Or expanding on the concept a bit:

ZANGOOSE's eternal rival is SEVIPER. According to legend, the red scar on its chest has passed down through generations as a reminder of a brutal bite wound during their first clash.

[MeekRhino]

I prefer your first edit, but if you go with the second one I think you should remove the word "bite". It seems unnecessary and a bit wordy.

[Cyndadile]

I vote for edit #1.

[Reliability]

I'm cool with edit 1.

One more vote, and this whole deal will be over.

[Silver]

i vote edit 1!

[Reliability]

Most legit thing I've heard all day.

Zangoose: ZANGOOSE's eternal rival is SEVIPER. According to legend, the red scar on its chest is passed down from the first clash between the two POKEMON.