STARMIE's jewel is said to contain psychic powers. A STARMIE with a bright red jewel is said is be more intelligent and better at its psychic powers than others of its kind.
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STARMIE's jewel is said to contain psychic powers. A STARMIE with a bright red jewel is said is be more intelligent and better at its psychic powers than others of its kind.
STARMIE can use its powerful RAPID SPIN attack to cut through overgrown kelp forests. It is an important species in any ocean ecosystem for this reason.
STARMIE posses remarkable healing powers. If it loses one of its arms, it will grow back the next day.
Last edited by ImmunityBow; 01-17-10 at 12:29 AM.
STARMIE's jewel is said to contain psychic powers. A STARMIE with a bright red jewel is said is be more intelligent and better at its psychic powers than others of its kind.
STARMIE can use it's powerful RAPID SPIN attack to cut through overgrown kelp forests. It is an important species in any ocean ecosystem for this reason.
STARMIE posses remarkable healing powers. If it loses one of it's arms, it will grow back the next day.
Wow that's short...
I really like MI's concept, though the second sentence's execution is a little off ("for this reason" is stylistically something we've been trying to avoid)
STARMIE can use its powerful RAPID SPIN attack to cut through overgrown kelp forests. Preventing oxygen depletion in the water, it is a valuable species in any ocean ecosystem.
Hmm... maybe still not the best.
Last edited by ImmunityBow; 01-25-10 at 01:17 AM.
Yours is still better though. It explains what it actually is doing by cutting the kelp.
STARMIE can use its powerful RAPID SPIN attack through overgrown kelp forests. This prevents oxygen depletion in the water, making it a very important and valuable species in any ocean ecosystem.
Not much difference. Just made it a bit longer.
STARMIE can use its powerful RAPID SPIN attack to cut through overgrown kelp forests. In this way it prevents oxygen depletion in the water.
Just an edit to MI's
Cranky guy, yours doesn't seem to add any value, considering that adding length until over 2 lines is too much length, actually. Also, the phrase "making it" is just the very slightest bit unprofessional. Passable, but avoid it if possible.
Cyndadile, yours just removes content without actually improving it in a concrete and tangible way.
While both entries would be passable, I'd like to request that you think before you edit. Make sure that your edit will, in your opinion, truly increase the power, creativity, wording etc. of the entry. Make sure to explain why you made the changes you did and why it's better (of course I haven't always done this either, I'll do my best to from now on as well.)
Well.
Well what?
I think ImmunityBows current edit of mine is better than both of those.
I forgot the end part of it:
STARMIE can use its powerful RAPID SPIN attack to cut through overgrown kelp forests. In this way it prevents oxygen depletion in the water, making it a valuable species in any ocean ecosystem.
I thought IB's ending was the wrong tone[?] (I'm not sure if that is the right word, but the origional wording seemed off.)
I'm not liking the "making it". It's avoidable, as I have demonstrated, and it seems more off too me.
IB's has better grammer than yours. I generally dont like referring to the pokemon twice in one sentence.
Fine with me.
Same as above.