Dusclops

[Black Temple Gaurdian]

Post ideas for Dusclops here.

DUSCLOPS is one of the few ghosts that is too solid to walk through walls. It makes up for this with it's unique control over fire.

If a house is left unoccupied for long enough, DUSCLOPS will take up residence there for a short time. Soon after it moves in, DUSCLOPS will set the place ablaze.

DUSCLOPS moves into the homes of the recently deceased and sets the houses ablaze. The destruction of the departed spirits' material possessions helps them leave our world.

DUSCLOPS moves into the homes of the recently deceased and sets the houses ablaze. The destruction of the departed spirits' material possessions helps them depart to the afterlife.

DUSCLOPS moves into the homes of the recently deceased and sets the houses ablaze. Stories say the destruction of the departed spirits' material possessions helps them leave the physical world.

DUSCLOPS' body is hollow. Anyone or anything that is swallowed when its mouth gaps opens, gets sucked into a void of darkness and mystery.

[Mediocrity_Incarnate]

DUSCLOPS is one of the few ghosts that is too solid to walk through walls. It makes up for this with it's unique control over fire.

[Cranky Guy]

MI, yours sounds OK.

[Mediocrity_Incarnate]

If a house is left unoccupied for long enough, DUSCLOPS will take up residence there for a short time. Soon after it moves in, DUSCLOPS will set the place ablaze.

[ImmunityBow]

I think I like 2 the best except that maybe it needs to be succinctly explained why it sets the house on fire? It's better than 1 because "makes up for this" doesn't seem quite right and control over fire isn't really unique... and if it's the being a ghost and having control over fire that is unique then doesn't that seem a bit redundant?

[Mediocrity_Incarnate]

I see what you mean

DUSCLOPS moves into the homes of the recently deceased and sets the houses ablaze. The destruction of the departed spirits material possesions helps them to leave our world.

Something like that.

[ImmunityBow]

Ah, much better. The only problem is "our world", which loses formal tone since it's in first person plural. (Formal tone is always in third person)

[Mediocrity_Incarnate]

How about this then?

DUSCLOPS moves into the homes of the recently deceased and sets the houses ablaze. The destruction of the departed spirits material possesions helps them to depart to the afterlife.

[Phoenixsong]

DUSCLOPS moves into the homes of the recently deceased and sets the houses ablaze. Stories say the destruction of the departed spirits' material possessions helps them to leave the physical world.

?

More or less the same as MI's, just a bit more formal and objective.

EDIT: durr, ninja'd. :B

[ImmunityBow]

Updated OP, removed "to" from "to leave" and "to depart" because it seems to flow better if you remove the "to". "Stories say" could possibly be better for being more objective, though I think it's already a well accepted fact in Pokeverse that there are spirits (Pokemon Tower in Lavender Town, and other such things)

[Cranky Guy]

Yeah thats right. If you happened to enter the Lavender Town's Pokemon Tower befor infiltrating TR's base in Celadon City, You would notice that ghosts also appeared.

[Cyndadile]

I like #4

[Quinn]

Their bodies are hollow. Anyone or anything that looks inside gets sucked into a void of darkness and mystery.

another that is mainly JUST THE SAME

Their bodies are hollow. Anyone or anything that is swallowed when its mouth gaps opens, gets sucked into a void of darkness and mystery.

(edit to ends if needed) ....into a dark void of mystery and no return. Edit if you want.

[ImmunityBow]

Yes, I know in the canon entries some games use "they" or "it" instead of actually referring to the Pokemon. However, each game has its own style of writing, whether it be the extraordinarily short "it", breaking 4th wall, entries of Red/Blue/Yellow/FR/LG fame, or the really long verbose Ruby/Sapphire ones, or the Emerald ones that are similar to R/S but using "it", etc. etc.

For Topaz purposes though, always refer to the Pokemon's name in all caps in the first sentence. Also, all singular if you can help it.

[Mediocrity_Incarnate]

I think phoenixsongs is better than mine. Afterlife seems to flow better.

[Sev]

DUSCLOPS make homes from the quarters of the recently deceased and sets the residence ablaze. The destruction of the departed spirits' material possessions helps them leave the mortal world.

[MeekRhino]

DUSCLOPS moves into the homes of the recently deceased and sets the houses ablaze. Stories say the destruction of the departed spirits' material possessions helps them to leave the physical world.

I like this one the best

[NyteFyre]

agreed, Meek.

[ImmunityBow]

DUSCLOPS moves into the homes of the recently deceased and sets the houses ablaze. The destruction of the departed spirits' material possessions helps them leave the physical world.

Small edit for reasons stated above. Am I the only one who finds this would flow better?

Otherwise I'm also for Phoenixsong's edit.

[NyteFyre]

I like it even with the other one.

[MeekRhino]

Agreed

[zeroality]

Vote.

[Cyndadile]

Good.

[ImmunityBow]

That's actually 5, cool

Dusclops: DUSCLOPS moves into the homes of the recently deceased and sets the houses ablaze. The destruction of the departed spirits' material possessions helps them leave the physical world.